HOW DO I LOVE THEE

You ask how do I love thee?
Well now, let me count the ways -

Well, first, I love thee silent
(Although thou rarely are)
Then I adore your kindly ways
(To drunks and blokes in bars)

I love thy strong opinions
(Mine must always echo you)
Thy cleverest achievements
(Strange that I'd just done that, too )

I then adore your handsome lookes
(Pray thou lookes for another)
And then I love thee sleeping
(Tempted sore I am to smother)

I love thine strong and manly feet
(While treading upon mine)
I gaze upon thy ring-ed nose
(Repugnant rooting swine)

But most of all, my dearest heart,
I love thee from afar
(About nine miles does pretty well -
Ten minutes drive by car).

You ask how do I love thee?
Well now, let me count the ways ...
... ... ... Ummmmm ... ...