The Boy stood on the burning deck,
His feet covered in blisters,
He must not die! - Not in these pants -
(They were his older sister's).
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Wochoolukinat?!
- The Lesser Weevil
- Maiden-Under-Pressure, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
- Sad, ditsy old fart. Completely Barmy - Yes, I am dumber than a box of dandruff; my belt doesn't go through all the loops; the cheese slid off my cracker; the wheel is spinning but the Hamster's dead. I am living proof that evolution CAN work backwards. AND I have multiplied (Mwahahaha!) - 3 children, 3 grand-children, Pickled bunion, moustache, and a pickled egg (no - sorry - I ate that one - s'pose I'll have to lay another now). For further details, please fax me, but don't forget to affix a stamp. Was female last time I looked (but it wasn't nice, so I looked away again).
Winner of The Privileged Weevil Award 2009
I won! I won! I won! I won! ... And I'm not even posh! Thanks to the Trebollocks Literary Council who made this award for my services to education in the subject of dickie car-dealers and public health officials.
FABULOUS BLOG AWARD
Thanks to Professor A.B. Yaffle Esq. who recognised my undoubted achievements not as a poet of any wit, but for the widely known fact that I am a fully fledged nutter.
Freakin Fabulous Blog Award
With many thanks to Clare (aka Daisy Darling) for not noticing that my shirt isn't always tucked in
She watched him on the burning deck,
ReplyDeleteFlames up to his knackers,
Off! by ambulance in that! tight thong,
The boy is surely crackers.
He saw her watching his predicament,
"Don't just stand and watch"
"Go! get me my fire cement,
Or your bloomers with the asbestos crotch.
Wicked! We should go into partnership!
ReplyDeleteCan we call it a threesome and I'll illustrate?!...be like the Joy of Sex...only no sex...or probably Joy...but maybe beards
ReplyDeleteWell, in that case I'd better go and shave if I've got visitors. You're most welcome!
ReplyDeleteTo quote Dick Emery 'Ooh you are awful, but I like you'! and that goes for all three of you. I think you should go into partnership.
ReplyDeleteBut! His hormone pills weren't working,
ReplyDeleteHis breasts had all gone wrong.
And he couldn't contain his bollocks,
Inside his La Senza thong.
Cor! I bet that made his eyes water - nothing worse than a split differential - had that on a tractor once - hurts like buggery!
ReplyDelete