Was a Spy extraordinaire
Of utmost ingenuity -
And ultra-debonair.
He'd jet and jump around the world
One crisis to another
Defeating all the baddie-men
Then fly back home to Mother.
Great Britain's Super-operative
Had never yet been beat.
Intelligence par excellence
Each undercover feat.
He'd blend into the scenery
Where'ere he was assigned.
Invisible to everyone
As if they had been blind.
But, half past two, in Timbuktu
Poor Skippy came unstuck.
His rival - Boris Vindoline -
Kidnapped him in a truck.
During interrogation in
Some dark, dank, dismal place,
Poor Skippy found a dazzling light
Shone hard into his face.
Well, Skippy's world was shattered.
How on earth had they known?
How long had they been watching him?
How was his cover blown?
Harsh words barked in from all sides round -
"Vat ... Vy ... Ven... Vere, und Who?"
But Skippy only focused on
Who'd dropped him in the pooh.
But, as they tied him to a post
Before the firing squad
The Commandant came over
And he spoke - though rather odd.
"Ven ve knew you vas Briteesher
Ve KNEW vat you vas at!
Only ze Briteesh give a SPY
A STUPID NAME like zat!!"
If he'd gone under the name of Skippy Doo von McFergus they'd never have suspected him.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope that someone from MI5 or GCHQ is ready this, so they can learn from their past mistakes. Let's see - Saddam VON Hussein - why, I DO believe you've cracked it! - sounds positively innocuous, doesn't it? Hang on though - Adolf VON Hitler - No. You're alright.
ReplyDeleteA cracker - I love it. Although it worries me slightly - how many female love interests he would have had in tow with a name like Skippy-Doo?
ReplyDeleteIn ultra-Bond-stylee, I don't think a smouldering woman nearly wearing a dress, and saying 'Skippy Doo, pliz be care-full', would have the same cinematic pull....
Well I'm sure dear Bench would accommodate him like a shot! But then you have to watch her around collies ...
ReplyDeleteNice one, Weev! I particularly liked the line, "Then fly back home to Mother". Very forgiving of him, considering she gave him such an excrementally awful name.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I saw MAB's blog had an item by you, "Tyger Tyger" that doesn't appear on here at all. A huge pity, because it's a corker.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I've done with it! See? I've even managed to lose that!
ReplyDelete