Sung to the tune of "Good King Wencelas"
Arnold Wencelas looked out
For his best mate Steven
On their yearly drinking bout
When the odds were even
Brightly shone the scotch that night
Though the cost was cruel
Spent the rent and housekeeping
Now they’ve got no fu-u-el.
Christmas trees and fairy lights
Spent all Daddy's bonus
Everything on tabs and cards
Credit with no onus
Mobiles phones, designer clothes,
There is no tomorrow
More food than a would ever keep
Africa from so-o-rrow.
Kids are good at keeping warm
And self-entertaining
Now there’s no food left to eat
What’s the use complaining?
Had to have the latest games
And an iPod Nano
They can always burn their beds
And poor Nan’s Pia-a-no.
Social Services arrived
Took away the babies
Neighbours look the other way
Like they all have rabies
Bailiffs joined the happy throng
Took away the cooker
TV and the DVD
Now thier Mum's a hoo-oo-ker.
Why do some folk feel the need
For all these excesses?
Do they actually think
That this shit impresses?
Christmas is the time of now
Future ain’t yet he-re
Burn the bills to keep them warm
There’ll be more next ye-e-ear!
'Burn Nan's piano?!' No! Not that!
ReplyDeleteMay your holiday be one filled with peace and quiet.
wonderful! have a super christmas and new year.
ReplyDeleteI loved this, couldn't stop reading once I'd started, that song will never be the same again...
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes to you and your family for a very Happy Christmas!
ReplyDeleteKat
It's cynical and sad, but all too true. Hope your Christmas is a good one, and a Happy New Year too.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to say it's a very clever lyric too.
ReplyDeleteLove the lyric 'now their mum's a hoo-o-ker'!. Great song, take it to Britain's Got Talent and sing it....
ReplyDeleteBurning bills is the bestest way ever to keep warm.(Ok, the second bestest way)Can't stop singing this now,it will forever be 'Brightly shone the scotch that night'Well done Weavo!
ReplyDeleteI love this and may have to go around the place singing it from now on.
ReplyDeleteContrary to the apparent crabbiness of this piece, we are all looking forward to a totally lunatic, happy and stressless family Christmas. My kids and I have all had an appalling year, financially, and so we've all agreed on a gift limit of £10 per person. It saves embarrassment and any fretting about affording the cost. It also helps to keep the real meaning of Christmas in focus, without losing out to the commercial force feeding. The only thing we can't do is sing carols. My grand-daughter adores singing, but is completely tone-deaf and oblivious to the fact. Strangled rooks sound better. (I've tried).
ReplyDeleteAh, that's how to warm up my drafty old house. Forget piling up the cats - burn the bills!
ReplyDeleteDo have a special Christmas. It's family and love that count!
A gift limit? Sounds novel as long as everyone joins in. We had a rule of presents only for the neices and nephews (as if they needed any more) and not for their parents but no one told one set. Not good
ReplyDeleteI love rewritten songs and this is a very good one!
ReplyDeletex