The boy stood on the burning deck
Could stand the heat no longer
He hopped into the nearest cab
And buggered off to Tonga
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Wochoolukinat?!
- The Lesser Weevil
- Maiden-Under-Pressure, Wiltshire, United Kingdom
- Sad, ditsy old fart. Completely Barmy - Yes, I am dumber than a box of dandruff; my belt doesn't go through all the loops; the cheese slid off my cracker; the wheel is spinning but the Hamster's dead. I am living proof that evolution CAN work backwards. AND I have multiplied (Mwahahaha!) - 3 children, 3 grand-children, Pickled bunion, moustache, and a pickled egg (no - sorry - I ate that one - s'pose I'll have to lay another now). For further details, please fax me, but don't forget to affix a stamp. Was female last time I looked (but it wasn't nice, so I looked away again).
Winner of The Privileged Weevil Award 2009
I won! I won! I won! I won! ... And I'm not even posh! Thanks to the Trebollocks Literary Council who made this award for my services to education in the subject of dickie car-dealers and public health officials.
FABULOUS BLOG AWARD
Thanks to Professor A.B. Yaffle Esq. who recognised my undoubted achievements not as a poet of any wit, but for the widely known fact that I am a fully fledged nutter.
Freakin Fabulous Blog Award
With many thanks to Clare (aka Daisy Darling) for not noticing that my shirt isn't always tucked in
Ah! There you are
ReplyDeleteThe boy leapt from the burning deck
Cos the flames did make him yelp
Ouch! Cor Blimey! Flipping heck!
These bloomers are no help
They really are uncomfortable
Affecting now my balls
Your underwear is too combustible
I’ve tried now all your smalls
Hot flames burned through his underwear
The elastic then went twanga!
For his manhood he did fear
Should he buy a lace string tanga?
I’ve tried ‘em all, says he
Bloomers, camis and French thrillers
Even open crotch to help me pee
Yet worse still, the dreaded passion killers
Tonga bound by Ford, driven by TL Weevil
Sat sitting there all aloof
When a brief spark set alight the petrol or the diesel
Her wheels now gone, disappearing with a wwhooofff!
Ah! Here I am at last.
ReplyDeleteIn recognition of your splendid efforts I have awarded you and award type award
So get off yer backside and come fetch it
The boy stood on the burning deck,
ReplyDeletethe matches were his, the little feck,
and making sure he did real harm
took also the battery from the smoke alarm.
Not as good as yours Weevil and genuine thanks a million for all your constant warm wishes and humour when I was at my worst, I really know they helped for sure :)
Ps. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's man and superman the assemblage years.TFE's art in the community project and worldwide tour winging it's way to Weevil, soon!
Hee I am!! I bin hidin! Did you see me?! I wuz wochin you! Actually, I lie. I've been in bed pretty much since supper yesterday with a migraine. But it's gone! HA! And what a lot of goodies I've missed!
ReplyDeleteProfessor: You know more about ladies underwear than I do, which is just as well, cos I'm really a bricklayer. But I love the poem. Thank you.
TFE!!!! How lovely to see you back in your usual bestest form, all ironed and everything!! I love the poem - smoke alarms on a King's Ship! Whoever heard of such nonsense. Everybody knows they had fire extinguishers in those days. That's where all the foam comes from down at the beach! Silly!!
I shall look forward to Superman's arrival with baited breath - I hope he doesn't drink or get rowdy. As you can tell, we are a sober household. Well, after 4 in the morning, anyway.
I'm thinking of buggering off to Tonga too, if we don't get some decent weather before the leaves start dropping off the trees. I must ask you not to leave such strange comments on my blog - I lead a double life you see! On my blog I am marginally sane and respectable and try to keep those who read it unaware of my other side!!
ReplyDeleteSorry, Mum! I can't remember what I put now. Was it rude? I'd better go and have a look ..... No. I didn't say "Bum" or anything! I was simply comparing my creative experiences and dilemmas in trying to create Julia's present. It was very innocent, I thought - ish.
ReplyDelete