HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!

I just want to hijack my Blog for a moment to wish my 'little' girl a very happy 28th birthday today! We're off to Salisbury for a girl's day out and to meet a pen-friend of hers for coffee. So everybody please pray for sunshine and that my knackered old Ford Galaxy will go the distance!

THE QUEST FOR PERFECTION

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Today you are told it’s so GOOD to be thin!

And trendy to look like a stick.

Fad diets appear every week, month and year

Which you follow although you fall sick.

You’re force-fed with increasingly perverted ways

Of shedding that last ounce of health.

A nation of rabbits allergic to carrots;

The writers’ sure-fire source of wealth.

A cheese and egg sandwich just isn’t the same,

Without some bat scrotum and chips.

Burnt essence of Panda, freeze dried Salamander,

Did THEY have two stone round their hips?

As you crawl ‘cross the floor, croaking weakly for more

Of that Wombat pube extract, you know

If you take it you’ll surely grow sick, weak and poorly,

But, SOD IT! At least you won’t GROW!!!

Toad testis on toast; Gibbon Snibbles; CAT ROAST!!

The list is as strange as it’s long!

Some things no sane person would feed to a pig

And would rather not keep for the pong!

So WHY DO YOU DO IT? Why punish yourselves?

This quest for perfection’s soooo LAME!

Give up! Just accept it! I’m simply the best

And you’ll NEVER turn out quite the same!