Today you are told it’s so GOOD to be thin!
And trendy to look like a stick.
Fad diets appear every week, month and year
Which you follow although you fall sick.
You’re force-fed with increasingly perverted ways
Of shedding that last ounce of health.
A nation of rabbits allergic to carrots;
The writers’ sure-fire source of wealth.
A cheese and egg sandwich just isn’t the same,
Without some bat scrotum and chips.
Burnt essence of Panda, freeze dried Salamander,
Did THEY have two stone round their hips?
As you crawl ‘cross the floor, croaking weakly for more
Of that Wombat pube extract, you know
If you take it you’ll surely grow sick, weak and poorly,
But, SOD IT! At least you won’t GROW!!!
Toad testis on toast; Gibbon Snibbles; CAT ROAST!!
The list is as strange as it’s long!
Some things no sane person would feed to a pig
And would rather not keep for the pong!
So WHY DO YOU DO IT? Why punish yourselves?
This quest for perfection’s soooo LAME!
Give up! Just accept it! I’m simply the best
And you’ll NEVER turn out quite the same!