Thursday, 3 September 2009


In trawling through a pile of old paperback books that I recently bought at a Car Boot Sale, I uncovered a little gem of a book called Graffiti Lives OK, compiled by Nigel Rees (the author of Quote, Unquote). Intrigued, I just had to have a peek inside and found I couldn't put it down. Compiled in 1979 and published by Unwin, it reflects that even the 'vandals' and 'hooligans' of that age had a better sense of humour (and, often, decorum) than we are subjected to on television today. Here are just a few of my favourites.

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous"

Onto a "NO ACCESS" sign, some wit had added the words "Use Barclaycard"

"Give masochists a fair crack of the whip"

"Tolkein is hobbit-forming"

"French dockers rule, au quai"

"Peals of laughter, squeals of joy. I was here before Kilroy" To which the answer was added: "Shut your mouth, shut your face, Kilroy built the bloody place".

"Alas poor Yorlik, I knew him backwards"

"Saliva drools, OK"

On a signpost in Lincolnshire identifying the road "TO MAVIS ENDERBY and OLD BOLINGBROKE" were added the words "The gift of a son".

On the back of a dirty vehicle, someone had written "Don't clean me - Plant something!"

"And the meek shall inherit the earth - if that's alright with you"

"God was a woman, until she changed her mind"

The words "Cuts out oven doubt" were found written on a contraceptive vending machine.

And on another "My Dad says these don't work".

Yet another contraceptive machine professed to be "Made in Britain" and it's product "Absolutely safe and reliable", to which someone had written "Yeah? So was the Titanic!"

While in a park somewhere, someone had written "Save Trees - Eat Beavers!"

But the worst of all was "I like sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"

I could go on - and on and on - but would love to hear if anyone else has seen or heard of any particularly witty ones.


  1. I like these!

    Did you know that graffiti on very high places is called 'giraffiti'? Honest - you can Google it!

  2. TLW
    At last someone with another copy
    I couldn't read many of the entries in mine cos someone had scribbled all over it
    Thanks for sharing, wit indeed

    My favourite graffito was painted toward the corner of a brick wall
    It stated
    Think Ahea
    Then the graffiti artist ran out of wall

  3. fabulous. love humour of this sort.

  4. Very funny..........has had me giggling like a loon.

  5. I'm so glad you all liked them - they're crackers, aren't they? But of course you know that I'm now going to go off trawling for more - and you'll all just have to put up with it!! Mwahahahaha!

  6. The old classic on the back of the toilet door

    Here I sit broken-hearted
    paid my penny
    and only farted

    The whole tragedy of life in three little lines!

  7. That has to be everybody's favourite school graffiti. But, of course, you're showing your age TFE! You don't get shite for a penny nowadays!

  8. No, I suppose not, when you consider that MAB is a hundred and eleventy-twelve.

  9. I think we had the second volume at home and I remember this one -
    'Say it with flowers, send her a triffid.'

  10. A hundred-and-eleventy-twelve-and-a-half now, thankyou!

  11. No you're not!! DON'T tell fibs!! You're a hundred-and-eleventy-twelluv-and-a-THIRD!! See? Just a young sprocket!

  12. I would kill to still have young sprockets, but they are flappy and drag on the floor now...

  13. I love these Weev, but my favourite is the Lincolnshire signpost one. Great stuff.

  14. lol!... Love these! The other half saw in a blokes toilet, written on the condom vending machine; "in case of failure insert baby"... ahhh de joys! hello by the way :-)

  15. Hellooo there! How very nice to see you here. Now, if only I had read this particular condom machine, I could have returned all three of mine to the manufacturer!