Thursday, 3 September 2009
In trawling through a pile of old paperback books that I recently bought at a Car Boot Sale, I uncovered a little gem of a book called Graffiti Lives OK, compiled by Nigel Rees (the author of Quote, Unquote). Intrigued, I just had to have a peek inside and found I couldn't put it down. Compiled in 1979 and published by Unwin, it reflects that even the 'vandals' and 'hooligans' of that age had a better sense of humour (and, often, decorum) than we are subjected to on television today. Here are just a few of my favourites.
"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous"
Onto a "NO ACCESS" sign, some wit had added the words "Use Barclaycard"
"Give masochists a fair crack of the whip"
"Tolkein is hobbit-forming"
"French dockers rule, au quai"
"Peals of laughter, squeals of joy. I was here before Kilroy" To which the answer was added: "Shut your mouth, shut your face, Kilroy built the bloody place".
"Alas poor Yorlik, I knew him backwards"
"Saliva drools, OK"
On a signpost in Lincolnshire identifying the road "TO MAVIS ENDERBY and OLD BOLINGBROKE" were added the words "The gift of a son".
On the back of a dirty vehicle, someone had written "Don't clean me - Plant something!"
"And the meek shall inherit the earth - if that's alright with you"
"God was a woman, until she changed her mind"
The words "Cuts out oven doubt" were found written on a contraceptive vending machine.
And on another "My Dad says these don't work".
Yet another contraceptive machine professed to be "Made in Britain" and it's product "Absolutely safe and reliable", to which someone had written "Yeah? So was the Titanic!"
While in a park somewhere, someone had written "Save Trees - Eat Beavers!"
But the worst of all was "I like sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. Am I flogging a dead horse?"
I could go on - and on and on - but would love to hear if anyone else has seen or heard of any particularly witty ones.