Wednesday, 28 October 2009


I think I’ll take up prostitution.
It seems like a fun kind of game.
It’s good for the old constitution,
And shouldn’t weigh much on the brain.
I think I’ll slip out for a light bulb;
A bloomin’ great red one, just so
A gentleman wanting that service
Can easily see where to go.
I’m told that it’s quite therapeutic -
“Lie back, think of England!” they said.
Well, what could be better, I ask you,
Than spending your whole day in bed?
Before you go getting ideas
‘Bout morals and all that old ham;
I’ll not be partaking of nuttin’ ...
Oh, No! I’ve a MUCH better plan!
Of course, I rely on my past here
(So ‘Hubby’ tells everyone – Bless!);
I’m a dead loss in that small arena.
They’ll be snoring before I undress!
Then, all it requires is good acting,
So when my poor ‘client’ awakes,
I’ll be lying there flustered and panting,
Complete with ‘vapours’ and the shakes.
I’ll then profess loud and quite clearly
“Good GRIEF! Are you always that good?”
No ego on earth could resist this!
Exit one client, in EXCELLENT mood!

PS. It has just been pointed out to me that in order to ATTRACT a client in the first instance, the light bulb is OUT! It has been further suggested that I should NOT get ideas above my station in considering active participation in any form of finance-based coital activity, as the volume of cash refunds would bankrupt me within a week. Thanks.   A bunch.